as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
