just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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