I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
