areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
