one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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