Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
