Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
