The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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