ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
