I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
birth control should be required to get into college
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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