Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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