belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
