I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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