we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
