I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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