You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
