Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
