Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
