Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
