Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
