i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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