the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
