Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
