Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if only i could text you this smell
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
