Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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