i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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