I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
