Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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