I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
