I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This couple is walking their pig around campus
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
