i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
