Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
