Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
