Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
