Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
