I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
