Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
