Swine flu. Run for my life!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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