I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
