she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
