someone threw a dead crab at me
I have demons in me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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