Got a toothbrush?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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