She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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