You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
