Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
this boner is exhausting
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
