is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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