my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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