Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
