Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
