Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
